Hey,

Yea, I'm talking to you! The one with the loved one battling cancer. It's going to be okay. Days will be dark before the rays shine through the storm clouds. Everything that happens will have pain equal to being stabbed in the chest. The first attack however, will be the most painful. You won't know what to do. You will feel sad, lost, depressed, confused, anger, and hopeless. The normal first reaction is to cry. It's okay to cry. Crying is something I found myself doing very often. You'll cry on some bad days, you'll cry on some good days, you'll even cry on days that are completely irrelevant to the day you're in presently. We're human. We are blessed to be able to feel our emotions.

The road to recovery was harder to walk down than I expected. I thought I was a mature and responsible man when we began the recovery process but I was wrong. Being my mothers caregiver taught me so much about myself. It forced me to mature to a level. You have to almost become the brain of your loved one. Time to wake up, time to eat, time to get dressed, time to take your meds, time for chemo, time to take your meds, time to take your meds, and my personal favorite- time to take your meds. You not only have to take care of yourself but you have to be the voice of reason.

I pray that your destination differs from mine. My path ended with the words that no cancer patient wants to hear. "There is nothing else we can do". Those 7 words will eat your heart out, spit it out, and do a tribal dance on it.

I can't be angry at anyone because 63 years ago, The Lord knew exactly what was in store for my mother. I can't get upset at his plan. During this time of hospice, I've had the opportunity to take care of my mother almost the same as she did me. I can feel myself growing as man because of this. Remember, I said I can't be angry but I didn't say I couldn't be sad.

You're just like me. You're not in this alone. You and millions of others are going through the exact same thing. You can spend your time cry and wondering why it wasn't caught sooner, or you can hit the ground running and explore clinical trails, high rated cancer research centers, and don't limit yourself to hospitals in your area.

Live everyday as if it's the last. Don't spend your days regretting what you didn't do, spend them writing the memories you're going to look back and laugh at.